31/01/2026, 00:50
Currently listening to: The Thrillseekers - Synaesthesia (En Motion Remix)
Earlier in the month, I decided to change the website background to a nice shade of blue, the inspiration came after I sat bored in my English class as usual when one of the book pages had this colour which reminded me of WinXP's UI (yes, the books were that old) and thus I think this is a good fit for this site, maybe I should keep it.
Unlike last year, I actually really want to do something this year. (no, really!) To me it seems that 2025 came and went in terms of output, I only released one level and recorded some demos and that was pretty much it, which is not good. To be frank, I feel embarrassment torwards not mapping more in 2023 / early 2024 for Torment Of Screams and after temporarily leaving, the project went on for a few months before being abandoned, where I once picked it up again to "redeem myself" in a way. It's just that at the end of every month where there was no significant mapping progress made, I feel as if it's an impossible task for me to even achieve. My main motivation when picking up the project again was to finish something I once worked on so I would live with no regrets Doom wise. Even so, I must not get demotivated for the project, I just need to push myself harder - to play more wads to be inspired by, to just get better in order to make better combat, to force myself to have actual mapping sessions instead of whatever I had before. I'm sure I could finish the project if I set myself more realistic standards torwards and actually put in the hard work.
Yeah, it getting late now and therefore I gotta stop here. I have a chess tournament in a few hours too so I really need to sleep now!!!